We're all beginning to have lockdown fever and wanting to get back into the world as soon as possible. Do we call this condition COVID fatigue? Whatever it is, it certainly makes us all realize how much we've been missing face-to-face socialization and the ability to get up and go when we feel like it. However, do we want to return to the 'old normal'?
I've found over the course of the lockdowns that I rather like the new world where I spend much more time in the quiet, in the yard and garden, tending nature and my spirit. I hope it's the same for you! And I hope the experience will give you what it's given me—that ability to slow down and appreciate where I am in the moment instead of rushing to get to some moment in the future. This may be easier for me than for you; simply because I'm pretty much retired and less worried about making an income to tend to my “needs.” Making less money has also made me more aware of how much of my money went to unnecessary expenses. This is a lesson we probably all need to remember.
Years ago I found a poem that stuck in my head. It was called “My Name Is I AM” and was written by Helen Mallicoat. I called Helen and got permission to write a song using her words. The content goes something like this:
I was talking to the Lord and looking for an answer; guilty from the past and fearful of the future. I'd forgotten my trust; needed someone to save me, when I heard a still small voice and the words that it gave me: My name is I AM it said.
When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets it is hard, for I am not there. When you live in the future with its worries and fears, it is hard; for I am not there. My name is not I was; my name is not I will be; my name is I AM, and I AM that I AM.
So calmly I'm sticking my toe back into the river of life; offering a few sessions to past clients, reaching out with the vagus class at the invitation of Rose Grotjan, making tentative plans for what the spring, summer and fall may or may not look like (possibly a III/IV in Crete this fall!), and thinking hard about just how far into the world's drama I want to place myself. I hope you have the opportunity to take the pandemic as a reset button; like the vagus nerve, we can reset what we believe our lives must be like, simplify and enjoy more while working and worrying less, enjoying more and living in the I AM, not in the past or future. My wish for you, for me, for us all.