So--Do I Re-emerge?

It’s been an interesting year for all of us. Remember the supposed Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times”? Well, we’re there. All of us had a life that seemed to be going in one direction; suddenly we were thwarted from our goals, our interactions, our tasks. Some adapted well and some not so well. As resilience is one of my favorite words, and states of being, I like to think I’ve coped fairly well. And yet….

Do I return to life as ‘normal’, whatever that means? Do I choose to return to work one year later and reclaim a bodywork business? Or do I simply putter in the back yard and garden, see less people, and make peace with nature and the silence it offers? I believe a similar question faces most of us. How far do we want to return to our old lives? How socially engaged do we want to be after being isolated and quarantined from people for so long?

Social engagement is such an interesting concept, with its upside and its downside. On one hand, it’s clear from research that people who are socially engaged live longer and more rewarding lives much of the time (though those who choose to remove themselves from society seem to do just fine). The ability to exchange ideas, energy, and socialization with others is a building block to health. And yet…revisit those above who remove themselves from the world—in religious orders, hermiting behavior, or for whichever reason setting self apart from the world and living in something of a cocoon. Is this a bad thing? I’m toying with this question.

I’ve found myself returning to an earlier time in my life when I felt depressed…early in my bodywork career and before I’d established a clientele I’d arrive at my office for perhaps one, or more often, no appointments scheduled for the day. I’d lie on the massage table and nap; get up for a toilet break, and go right back to the table. Finally I began making short lists: check the mail, make two calls, have lunch out where you might recruit a client. Usually these lists were that small, that insignificant, and that easy to complete. Yet often I couldn’t finish all the tasks of the day. But I gave myself credit for what I did accomplish.

These days, something similar has happened to me during COVID. I hear it from friends and family as well—many of us just don’t feel ‘motivated’ to move forward. What’s the use? Why bother?

I’ve long believed that those who live with a purpose, a goal, a driver or anything that causes them to want to get up and go keeps them healthier. These days, my goals have shrunk…it’s more about relaying bricks in the backyard sidewalks, or leveling the utility shed, or planting more bulbs. My universe has shrunk, and I’ve nearly decided I prefer this smaller version.

Now, let me hasten to add: I have a few classes scheduled for this year and several more in my head; I’m working on delivering what may be my last book, the text of what I think I know about bodywork, and I’m active in creating a network of CORE workers around the world. Just at slower speed! We’re beginning to socialize again as we and most of our older friends have now had their vaccines. While I honor these loftier goals, I’m learning to  be at peace with the smaller ones; getting the deck cleaned, the junk sorted, and then the views enjoyed, the solitude appreciated. I think, and hope, many of us are finding a similar feeling, and I hope we can hold that feeling as we move out of pandemic mindset into the new reality, whatever that looks like.

My hope: That we all choose to slow down, think about what we were doing before COVID changed our world, and truly think about whether we want to go back to that old worker bee world or whether we’d prefer to remember that while work is OK, other things are important as well. To be with those we love; to be with nature, to be with whatever makes us feel both useful, productive, and happy: those are my goals. It’s a fine question: How do you plan to have a different world on the other side of pandemic?