It’s been on my mind a lot lately as I look at my personal world and the larger one, that too many people seem invested in gaining and maintaining power. Clearly in the political realm, far too many of our public ‘servants’ are serving themselves. One doesn’t enter Congress with a net worth of $500,000 and leave with millions unless they’re a bit more concerned with feathering their own nest to a larger degree than they’re wanting to help the larger ‘we’, and far too many seem to be on that money and power path. I’m certainly aware that there are good public servants and I’m sorry for the many who give them a bad name. But that’s where we seem to be these days.
Years ago when I was disappointed in one of our leaders, I wondered what I could do to make things better. I decided my answer was to try to be the best me I could be. I turned to a random page of the Bible, which I sometimes do. The scripture I found; “Let your yes be yes and your no be no” really resonated for me. I was serving as church board president and looking at reining in a minister who seemed more interested in status and money than in serving the congregation. I had to learn to set some boundaries that were difficult, but that created better communications as we resolved issues.
Why I’m writing this blog goes along with that thought: I want change in the world? I need to change something about the way I work in the world. And as I’m a bodyworker and bodywork instructor (though far more limited in the advancing years and COVID times) I want to live my truth, but also share it with those with whom I connect. I’m finding I see a parallel between too many of us: bodyworkers, ministers, doctors, politicians, business people, any who seem to be in what could and should be a ‘helping’ profession often seem to be more intent on helping themselves feel better: more prestige, more money, more business or clients, more power. This seems unethical to me.
Years ago a client pointed out to me that the word ‘therapist’ could be divided into two words: ‘the rapist’. She felt that she had worked with various therapists who simply wanted to make her ‘get better’ so they had a feather in their cap—even when they were admitting to her they didn’t know how to help! I’ve seen this problem as well, and sadly, have probably been guilty on occasion of believing I had the right answers for someone else. We all occasionally forget to take the log out of our own eyes so we can help our neighbor remove the speck in his eye. So while I’m generally pretty careful about what I suggest (not promise!) I can deliver to a client or patron when we work, I do stumble as well. I’m careful to try to keep my patrons steering their own ship to recovery instead of telling them I’m the captain of their process.
I’ve never made a monumental living, but I’ve always been comfortable! I’ve gained some prestige, but that wasn’t my intention. I’ve always done my work, keeping my head as low as a Leo can do, in a way that encourages those around me to develop their potentials with my guidance but not my guidelines. I make suggestions, not pronouncements. I’ve seen too many therapists who tell their clients: “If you’re not getting better it’s because either you’re not doing what I tell you to do, or you just don’t want health enough to go for it.” Balderdash! Nobody wants to get stuck and stay in stuck; they just aren’t yet getting the help they need!
My point: too many of us are experiencing what I’m going to call too much greed—greed for money, for power, for prestige, for a self-esteem that can’t come from without but must come from within and doesn’t come from ‘healing’ anyone but oneself. I feel the world is going/has gone crazy precisely because too many of us are trying to prove, and prove, and overprove to the world how important, how wealthy, how handsome, how talented, how necessary we are. It’s a lie. We’re equally necessary in the eyes of whatever Creator we share, and those who feel the need to be King of the Hill in every moment are not only not helping the greater ‘us’; they’re actually not helping themselves.
I can’t say my ethical conduct is better or worse than others: I can say that for me, ethics is trying to help others find their personal power instead of robbing them of it.
Power and status are dishes meant to be eaten in small doses, I think. I grieve that we’ve created a society where power and status are celebrated, and too many seem to find the need to sit on the top of the hill and look down on others. We are all in this together. To be ethical, I think we all need to believe and practice this concept of being there to enhance all of us instead of only that needy, greedy ‘me’.