I’ve spent years thinking about and playing with the benefit of using affirmations. I have some opinions and rules; first among them is: one doesn’t get far using affirmations unless one first uses denials. In other words, I don’t think it’s fair to say ‘I’m not sick’ when I truly am, thus pretending to be well instead of acknowledging the illness. I believe in the denial aspect. First, I think, we need to acknowledge the problem, weakness, need. After we acknowledge, then it’s time to deny that problem: Let’s not say "I’m not sick”. Let’s say “Even though I don’t feel well, this sickness has no power over me and I now claim my health and happiness.” See the difference? Acknowledging there’s a problem isn’t giving power to the problem; it’s giving power to the idea that I can get away from and through that problem.
So for years, one of my favorite affirmations is quite simple: “I am worthy of self-respect.” Based on an experience in my basic Rolf training in 1986, I was touched at the core by one of my instructors who triggered something deep, sad, fearful and unacknowledged in me. A two minute touch to my costal arch, below the rib cage, caused me to cry uncontrollably for about three hours during a course. Though the feelings were pre-verbal, if I assigned words to the feelings, they were something like ‘I’m not good enough; I don’t do enough; They don’t want me here; I shouldn’t have come.”
Even though I was enjoying the course, some deep old hurt in me didn’t know how to affirm that I deserved to take up space. And it’s taken me some years to find that belief that of course, I deserve good things in my life.
In the Bible, when Moses comes face to face with God and asks His name, God says “My name is I AM.” And in the commandments delivered to Moses, one important commandment is “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” If we think about that concept, can you see that perhaps God is telling us not to profane his name, his I AM, by using negative self-talk, thus cursing God? For me, this is a powerful concept. So I’m careful what I attach to my I am….not I’m sick, I’m poor, I’m depressed, but I’m happy, I’m prosperous, I’m abundant.
And thus my favorite affirmation: “I am worthy of self respect.” This can be a difficult statement to make to ones self; in the mirror, thinking it, sharing it with another—any way we consider the words, we may trigger negative self-talk. How do we believe we are worthy of self respect? Using the words of affirmation, focusing on the feeling of self-love, and acting as if the world wants us to have good things—when we can focus on that idea of self-love, self respect, and satisfaction with our world and the world around us, we not only create a happier life for us, but also for those around us.
So, if and when we’re having problems believing we’re good enough, or happy enough, or smart enough, or we find we believe in our lack instead of our abundance, I invite us all to come back to feeling our worth and self-respect. We can, and will, fall ‘off the wagon’ on occasion and not believe in the self; but we can also learn to focus on the affirmative belief that we can deny those feelings of worthlessness and find instead the feeling and believe of self-esteem. I AM worthy—how about you?